I'm emotional...

and I can't let go, I am trying to...okay that's enough of Carl Thomas.

Seriously, I did have an emotional moment or two. We took my parents out tonight to celebrate their anniversary and my father's birthday. Pops came along with us too. We had a nice dinner and conversation; there was some reminiscing of Momma and the things she used to cook because Pop had commented that the mashed potatoes he ordered weren't his wife's. We all laughed and I felt myself reflecting on how empty the dinner table felt without her and how odd it really is to see Pop every single day without her. I held back my emotions and continued talking and trying to enjoy the rest of dinner. We finished up and heading out.

Once we got comfortable in the house I went back to finishing up the aisle runner while Mike and Pop were settling down. Pop came into the family room and I stopped to put on the television for him. That's when he started talking, he told me he wasn't going out anymore because he sees these couples, mostly seniors who remind of the years he won't have with Momma, and starts thinking too much. Then he broke down. I talked to him and listened to him talk and then the phone rang, bringing a welcome distraction. The phone was for him, so he stepped to his room to take the call.

Even though the 7th of this month will be 4 months since Mommas' transition, it still seems so unreal. I'm sitting here typing this now with Pops sitting not too far from me, Snapped playing on the TV, thinking about how we should've had more time with Momma. I don't want to get upset again so I'm going to stop now.

I just know the wedding day is going to be a joyous occasion but her physical absence will be a lot to handle.

Goodnight.