I'm tired

Yet another drama filled day. I decide to 3 way call 2 of the bridesmaids to try to straighten out this mess. To make a long story short, things didn't go as planned. Between the cussing and yelling, all that came of it was one bridesmaid putting the others out there big time. And I mean she let it out. She starts ranting about things that were said in private by two of the bridesmaids, the pregnant ex-bridesmaid included; things they obviously didn't want me to know.

The one bridesmaid hangs up and I'm left on the phone with the shiit starter. She continues to try to rub things in further and I try not to feed into it but I'm human. So after talking to her I wasn't going to call pregnant bridesmaid but I couldn't help myself. I confronted her about what she said and she tried to downplay things. Whatever.

Later I email shiit starter just to let me know what she plans to do. She had mentioned that she might have to drop out of the wedding with all the drama that's going on (most of which she started, I might add) I also told her I talked to the other girl so be prepared if she calls her on it. She sends an email back with some stupid cryptic message eluding to the fact that there's more I don't know. I talk to her on the phone and of course she's not telling me more. I leave it alone...for now.

The more I think about it the more I don't want this chick or the pregnant one at my shower, b-party or even the wedding. I don't care if the friendship is over; let's face it, are they really my friends' anyway after all I've disclosed this past week? I don't think so anymore. It would probably be less drama and no friction if they are not around. I'm going to talk to Mike about it in the morning and get his take on it. After all, shiit starter was his female BF and I asked her to be in the wedding in the first place because of how tight they were and that we had built somewhat of a friendship. But much has changed over the past year, seriously and not for the better.

I'll sleep on it and see what comes of it in the morning. Goodnight.

More drama....BP of course!

I get a call today from one of my associates who's been talking to the upset bridesmaid I talked about a couple of days ago. (Long email, remember? yeh, that one) Basically she's requesting that I talk to the other 2 girls so they can call bridesmaid B and let her know where everything stands as far as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

I really let her know how I felt. I explained for the last time how I have NOTHING to do with it. What can't these people understand? I didn't plan a thing, and am not interested in what their juvenile feud is all about. Just don't eff up my parties, that's all I care about. Honestly. As long as we can have a good time without any childish whispering or cliques being formed, eyes rolling, or whatever, I'm good. Seriously, these girls need to grow the eff up. I'm so over this chit.

I further explained to her that there are always 3 sides to the story: what she heard, the other girls' side and the TRUTH. We don't even know what we really happened to cause this rift, only what they each have told us. All I told her was I'll see what I can do. She wants me to be a damn mediator between them. Puhlease! I DON'T CARE!

After I calmed down a bit, Mike called me and I told him about the phone call. He's pissed. Tired of people calling me with the bs and really to the point that he'd like to give everyone their deposits back (for the dresses) and tell them we'll see them at the wedding. That's even if they came after being told there's no more bridal party. I mean, can you blame him? This is becoming beyond annoying. In essence, what they've done, all of them, is turn this thing into being about them and forgetting the only reason why this is happening in the first place: Carla and Michael's wedding. Hello? It's not about you! Get over yourselves, swallow your pride and play nice for the good of the people you claim to love, Carla and Michael. Remember them?

Mike made a good point: this is so much about egos and pride. One bridesmaid wants to do it all after she got some negative feedback on one thing and the other doesn't want me to think she didn't want to help, or more than likely doesn't want the other girl to take ALL the credit for planning everything. It's not that serious people. Chill the eff out.

In a compromise, Mike is going to call both of them tonight on the 3 way, like they're high school girls all over again instead of grown women over 30 with children of their own, and try to get to the bottom of it. The point is, if bridesmaid A doesn't want B to help out, tell her that and keep it moving. The way it seems now B wants to help, and A isn't trying to hear her right now.

I just don't want to hear about it anymore. Done deal.

Invites....part 2

I spoke to the woman who made the invites and even sent her pics of the damage. She kept apologizing and asked me what I wanted to do, either get a refund or she could make more bottles. We decided that she is going to make and ship me more bottles as soon as possible. I let her know that I want to get them out early December and she said she can make it happen. So we'll see. I really do love how they turned out and hopefully the other 13 will make it to NJ in one piece.

I'm still short about 5 invites, since we added to the guest list, so I'm ordered another version from VistaPrint. I'll probably use these to send to my 89 year old grandmother, who will probably look at the bottle like WTH? and to people I'm sure won't make it, or appreciate the bottle invite, mostly the older guests and those who probably aren't going to make it.

After Mike gives me the green light on the design he likes best (I made 4 different invites, similar styles) I'll place the order and be done with it. I'll post pics of the one we choose later.

Inhale, exhale, repeat.

Here we go again. Last night I get a long email from one of the bridesmaids basically telling me and Mike (she CC'd him) that she's "feeling some type way about the wedding". Her feelings stem from quite a few issues that really either have nothing to do with my doing or are so minimal that they shouldn't matter.

Issue 1: I didn't tell her the dresses were in. Hello? The salon instructed me not to tell the girls the dresses were in. Why? Because fittings won't start until mid December or early January. No need to run to the salon, especially since they want the balance paid before you even slip into the dress. The way most are complaining they are broke, figured you might want to use the extra time before dishing out any funds.

Issue 2: Why I didn't tell her pregnant bridesmaid dropped out and another girl was in. Why didn't I tell her? Because I didn't feel the need to. Seriously, after sending 2 separate emails at separate times about the MOH, who was a possible in or out, and then my sister dropping out as Matron of Honor, I didn't feel up to it. Simple as that. It's really not necessary; plus pregnant girl calls her everyday so you mean to tell me she didn't tell you? I know she did. Stop it.

Issue 3: 2 of the girls won't call or email her back about the bridal shower/bachelorette plans. And I have what to do with this? Seriously, I don't know what they are planning and I'm not supposed to know. I love surprises! They haven't called you back for their reasons that guess what? They can tell you best. So I called them both and asked them to put their differences aside or whatever the issue is and just give her a ring and fill her in. Done.

Issue 4: Oh yeah, this was a loooonnnnngggg email. Issue 4 is why is Mike all in my business? Excuse me? First of all, I met this bridesmaid through Mike. She is supposed to be his female BF. Cool. We became cool over the years, hence her inclusion in the wedding party. So, I explain to her that Mike is only involved because he wanted to make sure things were happening or at least going smoothly. If Mike had to plan the bridal shower himself, it was going down. He just wants to make sure I'm happy and I get treated as I deserve.

Before I could call her Mike promptly called her and let her know, his words, how selfish it was of her to email me that long novel when I don't need to be stressed. He also told her it would've been best to call instead of an informal email with matters that you feel are THAT serious. After she talks to Mike, she calls me and apologizes if she upset me but she just wanted to let me know that she wanted to be involved in planning "my special day." I'm so tired of this reference; it's the last thing pregnant girl said before bowing out. Some special day to you, huh. Not really.

All I know is there aren't many people who are going to be as excited about your wedding as you are, for whatever the reason. This experience thus far has been an eye opening one; I know who's really friends of mine and I know who to keep at an arms distance. Funny I had warning signs before that I overlooked but my eyes are wide open now, believe me honey.

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get this out and what better place to do it! I am determined not to allow anyone to aggravate me, stress me or take away from the wonderful time that's to be had by all. The shower is planned for January 31, 2008 (Mikes' mom's birthday, actually). I already have my keepsake invite, which is gorgeous by the way! I'm so thankful to have people there who actually do want to make sure that I have a good send off from being a bachelorette to becoming a Mrs. in 3 months.

Invites....round 1!

These are the invites. I may have to DIY the other 13, but this is what I ordered. Here's a close up of the wording I used. I found the poem on http://www.beachwedlockinviations.com/.

This is the invitation, burned edges and all. The invite is printed on pink parchment paper and the wording is brown in color. Love the palm tree!

These are close-ups of the contents of the bottle: a little sea grass thingy, some pink shells, pearls, and of course, sand.

This is the entire invitation put together. The paper is tied with a little champagne colored bow and the bottle top is wrapped in raffia. I truly love how they turned out. You can't see it here, but the top has a pink shell glued to the raffia. The DIY bottles are next!

The invites

We received our invites in the mail today. Ugh. First of all, there are 13 of the 65 bottles broken. They were packed with those noodle looking things and paper. Of course they wouldn't survive. Couple that with the mail workers completely disregarding the "fragile" written on the boxes and probably tossing them every which way. So, I'm down 13 invites. On top of that, I was already down a few more because we added people to the list. So now I need 15 invites, total

So what to do? Do I order more bottles and make them myself? Or, just get the Vistaprint invites and send those, as another knottie suggested, to those people I'm quite sure won't be attending. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

Right now I'm waiting to hear back from Andrea (girl who did the invites) to see what she plans to do. I don't know if she had insurance on the packages or not. If it's the latter, we'll see how she intends to make this right. I'll keep you posted. But first, for your viewing pleasure courtesy of Mike:

Here's the banged up box:

My broken bottles in the noodle stuff:

A few of the bottle tops. How wonderful.

Dresses....all of them!

Whew, it's been a few days since I last posted. Well, I took Wendy to the bridal salon and she tried on the dress Missy ordered. The top is a little snug but she can fit the bottom. So the top just needs to be taken out a little. We're good there, the only suggestion I had to make to Wendy was that she order her own dress because of the cost of her having to take the top out seems to cost more than just ordering her own dress in the right size. Needless to say, Wendy is non-conflict so she already decided to keep Missy's dress AND give her $50 on the deposit. WHAT!? It's not my business, but when you drop out of a wedding after you paid your deposit and you know there aren't any refunds, you lose your money, that simple. Plus she has to pay to alter the top, so I would've offered her $30 at most, and if that, to offset the cost. Let's face it: she wouldn't be getting a thing if it weren't for Wendy.

On to my dress, I go to the salon to check it out. It's gorgeous, the right color, but hopefully the right size. I think about trying it on until Debbie (owner) says I must pay the balance right then and there to try it on. Wow. I wasn't prepared for that. I ask her why is that? She says we can consider it the first fitting. OK. How? She goes on to say some salons give you 30 days to pay the balance; basically telling me she's lenient compared to few. I beg to differ. I leave it alone because at the time I'm thinking no biggie. Until I speak to my girlfriend who was married a year ago and used Arlenes also. She told me she tried on her dress numerous times before the actual fitting. She's the go-off type, so seriously, she's going off now after I tell her what Debbie says. And she referred me there. So, I'm going to call and ask them what happens if I try my dress on in Jan, or even Dec. for fittings and it doesn't fit, then what? I have no doubts it'll fit but still, you know what I mean.

I think Debbie needs to take a chill pill, seriously. The economy is not doing well now so the last thing you want to do is lose business behind some stupid stuff, and it could happen.